happy easter

I had a my test today. A test of existing passion and temptation. My conscious lies beneath me and I ponder about what if? Cause and effect. I question if I'm right or nothing can phase me. I'm not the person to break someone else's rule I'm the type to break mine. And the evening keeps getting harder to sleep in. I like who I've become and what pleases my environments senses and I think I'm still trying to understand what it could be, how better it is to sleep again. The world needs more compassion in life's promises.

maybe now i can understand what "connections" really are. i guess it's really up to me and sometimes when you think you have that connection you unplug the last one you had. and you might not know that you actually need the last one to extend to the next one. you know it's like christmas lights, when one little bulb goes out the rest are all affected. ok bad analogy, but lights are important on a christmas tree. i have to think that everyhting is temporary and you have to sacrifice and reason whatever situation might be to not dig a deeper hole for myself. put all that dirt back in, bury it and shake the filty thoughts of my hands and walk away. oh man it's hard being the bigger person, i guess it's ok to be alone.

hello sunshine

Sometimes I get overly conscious and forget what I'm suppose to be doing. People have different defense mechanisms. It could make a room feel intense. I've been hanging out with inspiration all day today and it's an easy feeling to have. The eyes of sincerity and my naivete blend together. Someone to play along and agree and give something back is a great feeling. It's a slow process and I've calmed down and I think I like people again, and their weirdness.