almost there

I'm trying not to count the days until I return back home. I picture myself shoveling snow and not feeling my toes at the same time. People ask me if I like the cold. The cold seems to preserve myself, inside and out. Covering myself with layers and layers of clothes which I purchased at the second hand store. It's cozy. Recoiling myself. I also enjoy to see other people put on there survival gear. As we walk around tightning our body cuz the wind is as sharp as razors. I find that very amusing. Our eyes get teary, we're like a big slab of meat inside a freezer. The sounds of the radiator clanking in an old apartment which can burn your ass when you get out of the shower and suddenly you drop your towel, bend over and there it leaves a mark of winter. ouch! Yes, I like the cold, there's always a reason to complain.

winter bliss

I ask a these questions. Why do you make me feel like I've worn out my welcome. Have I done something different that did not meet your expectations? You say I'm beautiful, yet with our securities, I still don't believe you. As if it's just words that get us by. A "white" lie. Of all these years we've known each other some years absense, I still don't know who you are. Maybe it was these years that you and I weren't there. When we met our obstacles on our own differently. Yet our past wasn't as different. We closed ourselves in our beliefs, we watched the snow melt, we lived our own, did we? Educate me on this my friend. For some reason, all this, doesn't seem worth it at all.

Not really feeling good. Woke up with a migraine. Time moves fast. You wake up and here's tomorrow. I feel like I'm behind sometimes. I've had a lot of weird dreams lately. I dreamt cats were chewing up my pajamas and literally I woke up and my pajamas were torn up, true story. I don't have any cats. Maybe it's my guardian angel telling me to get new ones. I'm not that good at interpreting dreams. I dreamt about my old apartment. Everything was still there just how I lived and it felt like I was dreaming all the other stuff, you know the "now." Man was I Happy. But sooner or later you'd wake up and you're here and your feeling like blah! Have to deal with superficial people and talk and humor and bore, bore, bore. I'd like to go back to bed, it seems a lot more interesting on the other side.