step into the light......beer?

i remember being around it all the time. two years. met a lot of strange people that way. expecting to be entertained and forget all their problems. i use to be that person. i would make sure that i'd fall off my seat and laugh about it the next day. i'd constantly pour cheap drinks and pretend that i really gave a fuck or they would too. usually you start giving a fuck when you remember you had your say that night. then you wake up the next morning and all you could say is, "fuck, fuck, fuck!" you can't seem to change what you've done. just gotta go back to the place where you said it, and try to forget all about it again and again and again. there were moments of fun. i had my share of it, i had to spend a lot to actually enjoy it. you can't really sit around at home and enjoy the silence listening to the news. it depresses you. back to that place and forget that you were alone over and over and over again. it's you're only friend, it was mine at the time. i felt like i've seen everything, been there done that feeling. well, i haven't. i don't think i've seen anything being around it neither were the people around me. i stopped to think for awhile. here i am pondering about it. how foolish was i? how much did i lose? what time is it? i had a long time to think and you know i don't miss hating myself in the morning.